Yes, I know last week I said I was going to tell you about my birthday. But the moment has passed. It’s over. Gone. Done and dusted. Kaput. I am well and truly 33 years old now – so let’s just forget about the day it happened. Let’s also forget about how I only blogged once last week. I was TIRED you guys. I mean, I’m 33. No spring chicken – whatever a spring chicken is. (At least it’s probably slimmer than a winter chicken, those lazy, pie-and-mash-eating bastards). Instead, I shall swiftly move on from this appallingly rambling introduction to Monday’s blog post, and tell you in eloquent and articulate detail about my mother-daughter day with Tiggy last week (Tiggy being my daughter. By which I mean, my dog.) Just don’t hold me to the eloquent and articulate bit, ok?
ANYWAY. Last week I was invited, via work, to the launch of a new natural dog food – Hill’s Ideal Balance. So far, so normal. But this wasn’t JUST a launch – this was a launch that promised a pop-up day spa for humans and their four-legged children: think canine massage, nail and claw mani-pedis, relaxing chillout areas where you could bliss out with your pooch – and Doga. DOGA, PEOPLE. That’s yoga for dogs, in case you’re not aware.
Tiggy and I RSVPd with an emphatic HELL YEAH and when the day came around, we could barely contain our excitement. Tiggy donned her best collar and purple bow-tie (plucked from The Guru’s recently-discovered ’80s bow-tie collection) and hand-in-paw we skipped joyfully to the North Bondi Surf Lifesaving Club, where our day of indulgence awaited.
There was an eclectic mix of media and celebrity in attendance. Kylie Gillies, co-presenter of Channel 7’s The Morning Show hosted the event with her French Bulldog, Pepe. There’s no doubt about it – she is one of the warmest, loveliest, most gorgeous, engaging and down to earth women on TV. Kerri-Anne Kennerley was there too, with her Golden Retriever, Digger.
Now I think Tiggy enjoyed herself, but it was VERY hot in the lifesaving club. Humans were sweating profusely, canines were panting, and Tiggy kept lolling rag-dog like on the floor. She perked up a bit when she realised there was dog-massage on offer and for the next 15 minutes turned into pooch-putty.
Post massage, Tiggy rolled herself over to the manicurist. “Are you SURE you want your nails painted?” I asked, but before I’d even finished my sentence, Tiggy had jumped on the treatment table and had chosen the most vibrant shade of pink she could get her little brown paws on.
Next: DOGA. I’m proud to say that Tiggy was complimented by the instructor on her ‘back extension’ but truth be told, she was simply straining to reach the delicious treats I was wafting above her nose. After a while, she decided it was all too hard, and trotted over to the next mat where Jay Lee, uber-cool pet stylist and owner of Runway Pooch was practising downward dog with his poodle, Noodle. Jay had a pile of unsupervised Hills Ideal Balance treats by his yoga mat – which Tiggy gobbled up like the greedy guts she is. (Apparently, they’re crunchy and delicious).
After we’d done our dash with Doga we went back inside the lifesaving club for a chat with the pet nutritionist (everyone has one of those, right?) before Tiggy decided she’d had enough, and did the most gigantic wee I’ve ever seen, right in the middle of the carpet.