Three examples your child is a smartarse…

Ok, maybe that title’s a bit misleading. It should probably read three examples of me being a smartarse, when I was a child. There’s no denying that I had chutzpah in bucketloads.

EXHIBIT A:

A letter that seamlessly weaves together love, apology and emotional blackmail

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Dear Mum, Please don’t blame me if I am mean to Sonia. She’s been pretty mean to me and Im upset because you are so sad and crying. I adore you and want you to know I think your wonderful.

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The art of the perfect guilt-trip

By the time I was about 15, I was well-practiced in the art of getting out of trouble (and I was in trouble a LOT. My attitude by then was at an all time high). The secret? Making Tutti laugh. In most cases, laughing made her even more enraged, but it’s very hard to maintain rage when you’re gasping for breath, your upturned mouth betraying your fury.

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A cautionary tale for parents-of-two

When I was about 6 or 7, I wrote my first book. It didn’t have a huge print run (in fact only one copy was produced) and although the text is about 27 years old, I feel its message is still relevant for parents today. Enjoy.

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The Typical Family, Kids & Parents & How the elder & younger kids are treated differently. By Cecily. A. Bennett (Bennett Books)

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To my parents who from this book should learn a lesson.

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BEFORE: In being the only kid, she gets lots of atention

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AFTER: She gets atention when baby is born but not as much

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BEFORE: Kid is nice to sister and gives atention but parents mainly watch baby.

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AFTER: Parent forget about kid and give attention only to younger.

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NOW: Kid may as well be a spirit. She is blamed for everything and gets no atention. Perhaps things will improve when she leaves home. Parents should make their kids feel loved equally. HELL. TORTURE. THE END.

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