Adventures in Metaphysics

After hermitting myself away for the past few weeks, neglecting my bloggy blog, going to work, getting home and working my butt off editing The Guru’s book, (while suffering from preggers-induced fatigue and evil heartburn that would make the fiery flames of hell feel like a balmy breeze ) I am delighted (and relieved) to say I’ve done it! The Cranky Guru – Adventures in Metaphysics by Paul L Bennett is just about ready to unleash itself on the world.

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Tutti and The Guru dressed for a black-and-white night on the town, on Saturday.

It’s never easy working on a project of this magnitude with a parent (especially when you live with them and there’s no escape from the constant barrage of “How are you going with the book? Are you going to finish it tonight? What? It will take two weeks? But I want it done in one! Are you working on it tonight? Good morning – I know you’re still snoozing and it’s 6.30 on Saturday but I was just wondering how the book’s going. So about the book… is it finished yet? Yes I know you’re on the toilet but perhaps we could have a meeting now through the keyhole.”) but we got there in the end.

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And even though I don’t agree with all of the Guru’s esoteric philosophies, I’m pretty proud of the fact that he’s managed to write something that is warm, funny, candid and engaging.

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I can’t wait for you all to go out and get your hands on a copy, but in the meantime, I shall tantalise you with the back cover blurb.

Are we merely victims of circumstance, or can we actually create our own destiny? Does time exist? Are past, present and future happening simultaneously? Are dreams real? Do our beliefs create our reality? The answers to these eternal questions and many more can be found within. Merging humour and real life anecdotes with esoteric philosophy, this book has evolved over thirty years of study and deep contemplation. It has been a journey of discovery unlike any other, offering assistance to all who seek  answers to living effective lives in ‘Earth School’.

Metaphysics, or the art of ‘Acting As If’, is the universal tool of creation. Its mastery, achievable by anyone with an open mind, will open doors you may not have previously imagined. Whether you want to be the master of your own success, heal past hurts, improve your relationships or simply find a greater sense of inner peace, one thing’s for sure: this book will defiinitely change your perspective. It might even change your life.

Love and light, bitches!

Ceci xx

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Someone else’s embarrassing flashback

It was the early ’90s. I was at a friend’s Batmitzvah and I was sat at a table full of very pleasant girls, one of whom could not get over the outfit another of the guests was wearing.

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Wasabi-gate

There is almost nothing as disappointing as ordering food at a restaurant, expecting it to be delicious and having those expectations smashed into a trillion unpalatable pieces the minute your tastebuds decide to protest your culinary choices.
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Different Dimensions

You know how sometimes you have those days where you want to scream ‘Fuuuuuuck Youuuuuuuuuu!’ at the mundanity of life? (No? Just me? That was awkward!)

Well, you will be heartened to know that according to The Guru you are a ‘multi dimensional being’, living an experiential existence wherever you are right now, while other aspects of your personality live in different countries and centuries simultaneously.
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“Your body is refreshing itself” and other Guru-isms

Hello gorgeous people of the internet!

Apologies for missing not one but TWO posts, and eternal gratitude for sticking with me. The sad part is, I don’t even have an excuse. Not a real one anyway. I should have posted… but I didn’t! Forgive me please!

Now, I’m going to go all philosophical on your arses today, by quoting a recent teaching, courtesy of The Guru’s facebook page. I found this one particularly interesting, since I’ve been feeling pretty exhausted lately. And especially since I have absolutely no idea where his esoteric thoughts come from. It is so intriguing. He is a Guru through and through. (Sometimes, he is a cranky guru – *Flashback to Guru ROARING “GET OUT OF MY OFFICE”, at Tutti, when her paper-rustling interrupted his train of thought* – but he is a Guru nonetheless).

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The Guru, with his safe full of wisdom

He says:

Now here’s a little tip for when we’re feeling tired:

As we know, our bodys’ atoms and molecules have ‘intelligence’ and collaborate to retain balance as much as possible. If we think, “Gee I’m feeling really tired!” they’ll respond, ever ready to do our bidding! NO. Instead, say, “my body is refreshing itself” and you will notice immediate results! Our minds create everything, even our physical condition! Believe and it will be so.

These energies, together with our imagination and emotions manifest our physical wellbeing (or not, if we’re thinking negatively.) Now, every aspect of the body has its own ‘sound’, every atom and molecule, every organ etc.

When we are well, the combined notes are melodic, but a cacophony ensues when we are tired or unwell. ‘OM’ said silently and slowly can assist our physical condition by smoothing out these combined sounds, so let’s add this today and may our bodies ‘sing’ with beautiful healthy energy. O-O-O-O-O-M-M-M-M-M-M.”

Readers, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you think telling your body to refresh itself is enough to feel rejuvenated? Or are you more of a hot shower-and-a-massage, a-run-around-the-block or an 8-hour-sleep individual?

P.S. I would also like to draw attention to two more of the Guru’s observations that have caught my eye lately:

This:

“As I walked to the shops this morning for a coffee, I encountered a derelict man violently kicking a bin as his unfortunate partner begged him to stop. I didn’t intervene as the situation was so volatile. But on my way back, I saw him sitting on the footpath and stopped to speak with him. He found me calming, and told me his story of anger and booze and living rough, with his poor partner in absolute despair. I told him I could see the good person inside and encouraged him to listen to his partner (who held three degrees! ) and seek help. He thanked me and said after meeting me he would no longer be angry. The world is full of good people who just need a little understanding and support.”

And THIS:

“Note: Italian men are so ‘uber macho’, I feel like a cross-dressing transexual beside them! HAHAHA! Nothing wrong with that of course!”

The Guru sees the world from a different perspective, that’s for sure.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, either.

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Guru Wisdom

Hello friends! A little bit of wisdom for  you today, courtesy of The Guru.

Now generally, we tend to think our Guru is a little bit loopy (much as we love him) but sometimes, he is surprisingly profound.

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The Guru, doing what Gurus do.

“It is important what we think, because thoughts are ‘things’,” he says. “They are energy! If we worry, for instance, that things could go wrong, that illnesses may occur and people might die, we are actually giving breath to those probable realities. This is important. Don’t think for a moment that thoughts don’t matter and aren’t important! They are! Period.”

I actually believe in the power of positive thought. And although having a Guru for a father may have caused me to rebel against spirituality, I definitely have him to thank for my pretty rock-solid upbeat disposition.

And if you ever had even the tiniest inkling of doubt about the power of belief, this might change your mind. The Guru, at 64, has recently developed a humungous pimple on his cheek (almost as if there were another Guru trying to get out!) which is PROOF that he has actually manifested the age of twenty in his consciousness. Problem skin and all.

N.B. If you’re wondering what that brown mark is across The Guru’s leg, it’s a scar from when he decided to stand on a rickety, antique chair (not a ladder) to fix the bird feeder for his beloved avians, high up in the Jacaranda tree. Of course, he crashed to the ground, gashing his leg in spectacular style, proving that sometimes, Gurus are humans too. (And very silly humans, at that).

 

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